The American Dream – To Hope is to Dream

So what is my definition of the American Dream? It involves me sitting on a porch in the midst of a warm summer, drinking a mint julep or a frosty glass of ice water while in my rocking chair staring at the empty space between myself and a blossoming cherry tree without a care in the world.  A picturesque setting that at the current time seems hardly possible, or at the very least far-fetched, because I know the enormous amount of work it will take to make my dream come to fruition. In the middle of rising gas prices, political unrest and an increasingly volatile separation of social classes it would be easy for one to assume that The American Dream is nothing more than a fleeting wish or a defunct and old way of thinking. When surrounded by adversity and human suffering, how could we continue to believe that such a lifestyle is possible when those that have lived it are no longer the norm but a statistic given a monetary number or classification such as the 99%? Yet regardless of the current circumstances it is impossible to ignore the signs that while at first glance it may appear to be no more, the dream is alive and well…possibly closer to reality than we may believe.

No matter whom you ask, the answer will always vary to the question of “What is the American Dream?” According to Frederic Carpenter, the American dream “has never been defined exactly, and probably never can be. It is both too various and too vague” (Carpenter), so how does one gauge a dream? For some, it may be material items and others it may be spiritual happiness, regardless of what it may be the modern truth is that we are all individuals and because of so, our dreams are our own. Bob Herbert, a columnist for the New York Times, states in his article Hiding from Reality that “however you define the American dream, there is not much that’s left anymore” (Herbert) by pointing out the current state of our country, it should be noted that the first definition listed for Dream in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep” (Dictionary) which means that a dream is merely an extension of ourselves. If a dream is an extension of ourselves and what we desire is to live comfortably, then our perception of the American Dream is shaped by our own imagination and would make this dream closer to reality than we’ve been told.

Let’s take a closer look at the origins of the term “The American Dream”.  Although the concept has been around since before our country was founded, the American Dream was popularized in 1931 when James Truslow Adams defined it in his book The Epic of America as “that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for every man, with opportunity for each according to his ability or achievement…”(Stiuliuc) His definition embraces the ideological belief that is found in our Declaration of Independence, that all men are created equal and are endowed with certain unalienable rights and among these rights are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness (Congress). He continues by explaining that this dream is unique because unlike our European brethren that has a social hierarchy, every man and woman is capable of reaching the fullest of stature regardless of fortuitous circumstances of birth or position. A dream that has shaped our country from its inception giving hope to all that we cannot be told who we are or what we’re capable of by anyone other than ourselves.

The American Dream continues to be a staple of the social psyche as it has become the driving motivation behind all those that wish to achieve greater. It is an idea that is as timeless as history itself and unlike the man or woman that used it to forge new paths and become better than what they were told to believe, an idea cannot die. From those searching to find gold in the wild frontiers of the west to immigrants travelling from war torn countries in search of a better life, we gain the knowledge that it is because of hardships that we are capable of realizing our dreams. A dream is what we strive to achieve in the face of reality, it is what allows us to rise above the nightmare of circumstance and deny the naysayers the ability to limit what is possible. A cold reminder that we must appreciate where we’ve been in order to reap the benefits of where we are going because we will never know if the grass is greener on the other side if we do not conquer the mountain in front of us.

When applied to current times, it is hard to believe the American Dream is close even though we’ve barely gotten out of the recent Great Recession, millions are still out of work and even more have lost their homes. We are reminded that as long as we are willing to put in the work to see our dreams become reality, then we’ve got the only opportunity we need to see out this dream. By changing our perception that the dream is now our own and recognizing the fundamental belief that we are created equally, we begin to see that comfort with ourselves allows for the appreciation of the smaller points in life. This progression of thought will allow us to be open minded to the idea that it is no longer The American Dream, but My Dream. I want you to say this to yourself and read it aloud: The American Dream is hope and always has been.  The hope that I can practice any religion without persecution, the hope that one may start with nothing and end up a something, the hope that I am not defined by what I was but what I am.  It is this hope that has created My Dream and knowing this reminds me with each passing day that hope is a dream that never sleeps.

Random Thoughts on Windows and Reflective Surfaces

A 2 way mirror seems to be all about perspective.  We seem to feel protected when we can see through the window and feel vulnerable when reflecting.

Knowledge of Self -

When we know it’s a 2 way mirror, we worry.

When we know it’s a mirror, we open up.

When we aren’t sure, we avoid.

Why wouldn’t it be the other way?  Because it’s 2 way.

Reflective surfaces, windows and Relationships -

Focus on Me vs. Focus on You vs. Balanced

Why do we feel the need to choose when we know that it will always be situational?  Is it because we are told to, because we feel we’ve been told or is it just the way things are?   If the latter, why?

Flexibility ,openness, being okay with the possible and the impossible alike.

SS Forgiveness: Struggling with Relation Ships

First, a question: What do I do when I encounter someone who appears to or has stated that their intentions to take care of only themselves?

I will admit that I have more than my share of those people in my life.  Some I love, the rest…well…don’t last.  For those I love, I wrestle with the idea of forgiveness because I often wonder, what’s to forgive?  I knew, I know and continue to understand that it will not change.  Am I hopeful that it will?  Sure.  Do I believe it will?  No, but anyone is capable of anything so it’s not as far-fetched of an idea as some would have me believe.  I am a consummate believer that things aren’t as bad as they seem, a way of living definitely not meant for most and a lifestyle that many find to be naive or silly.  It’s not.

So, how should I deal with these selfish individuals?  Why should I offer forgiveness when things have never changed.  What is there to forgive or even more so, what isn’t there to forgive?  Well, let’s start at the center of the issue.  Myself.  There are plenty of times throughout our lives, on a daily basis really, that I find I must forgive Me.  Love, caring, affection and all of the wondrous acts of kindness get their fuel from the part of myself that also stores humility and peace.  Without one, the others cannot survive.  How can I expect others to be generous with their Me when I cannot, it’s just not right.  To begin with myself, I must forfeit my desire for recognition knowing that less than half the time I will not get it for it is not my honest intention.  It does not mean that I do not appreciate or even crave it at times, I’m human, but living with the expectation of recognition at all times is not realistic.  When I think about it, it’s usually one of the last cards in the deck.

I must find peace within before I can find outer peace.

Now that I’ve found inner peace I can begin to process the how’s and why’s of said person.  Who are they to me?  Who are they to Me?  The ones who do not last are relatively self explanatory, but if you’re not sure who that is then they are always the person who attempts to keep distance because they do no want complication in their life.  If there’s anything that I’ve learned it’s that complications will always be there and if you plan on being social, then getting to know others is the least of my worries.  In actuality, getting to know someone better will only aid in avoiding complications in the future.  Pay attention to the little things, they are the things that tell the story.  For you, it may feel necessary to forgive a person but look closer at the definition of Forgive from Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary:

1:  a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgivean insult>

     b : to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt>

2: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon<forgive one’s enemies>

To give up resentment of.  With that I ask, do I resent this person?  One argument is that I do not resent the person, only the action.  The truth is that if you only resented the action then you wouldn’t be upset with the person. Am I saying that you resent the person?  Yes, but don’t take misconstrue resentment with hatred or strong disliking…they aren’t the same.  I resent the act but I continue to love the person and I do so because in the grand scheme of things, this is nothing more than a lesson wrapped in ugly paper.  On a larger scale, you forgive the fact that all life ends but never do you hold it against anyone, well maybe except your doctor (I kid).  In no way am I advertising ignorance or disillusion, only that when looking at the situation maybe we should consider how medial this is bound to become.

I would like to clarify, in case it wasn’t deduced, that if the actions from another are damaging in a large way then these rules do not apply.  I am a firm believer that if the offense is deemed serious enough, then screw em’, regardless of history.  If it’s where I am the offender for whatever reason, then using the same logic path, I am completely understanding for one very simple reason – I am being treated as I have treated others.

I am no better or worse than anyone when sitting at the same table.  I am no smarter for knowledge is universal and I’m certain others know more about other things than I.  I must not hold others accountable when I have the ability to make the appropriate changes.  I hardly ever need to forgive, most mistakes are like passing gas in public, very embarrassing and if I could I’d scoot away before anyone notices.  I have always been happier knowing that I never required forgiveness, it means I was hard enough on myself.  If I do pass gas in public, it will be hilarious if it’s in a quiet place.  My apologies for deviating.

When it comes to someone being selfish, forgiveness is hardly necessary.  Either I’ve known that it was an inevitability or it caught me by surprise and after some time I realize that the upsetting part was the latter.  There are times that no matter what, I cannot bring it upon myself to let go of an individual based on their selfishness but it is my choice and am ultimately happy with my decision because I did not quit.  I am not you, you know that, but as I’ve said before in my posts, know that you are not alone in the troubles faced.  They are daily and many, yet what ultimately allows for us to come together is relation.  It’s called a relationship because it’s relation that takes you all over a map that always has a new location to discover. Explore.

Changing Perceptions of Changing

Very rarely do we ever think about this subject, change.  It’s an idea, a subconscious afterthought or glimmer of a concern, at least until we need to change.  I believe there to be a misconception with this though, that we are missing the entire point of change and how much we actually affect the flow of change and directional movement of self.  How?

Well, the idea of change first begins as a perception or perspective.  Change in itself is a very selfish act even though it is usually applied to a much larger scale, society or politics for example.  We often forget that change is not something that occurs immediately and it is hardly ever noticeable, it isn’t until we can look into our rearview mirror that we see that what is becomes what was and what will is coming sooner than we thought.  Interested yet?

Something to remember: Change begins and ends as an idea.

The tricky part is that our ideas of change are on a lazy susan, rotating around while staying stationary.  What’s interesting is that we can just as easily influence this scenario by simply intervening but we are so concerned with the flow and status quo that we forget the mechanics of said change.  How can you expect something to be viewed as alright if you yourself are not willing to put aside your fears to make it alright.  We constantly battle with ourselves because we are concerned about what others will think, what they will say or what may and may not be learned.  We try to protect but in the process, it hinders the progress of actual change.

Change is not bias, it just happens regardless of thought.

Now, we can say that it’s to protect said person or persons but the fact is that we will never know the full effect until the change actually occurs.  It is not irrational nor is it illogical to fear a possibility but what is often overlooked is that change is and always will be inevitable.  It is the nature of all things.  It is not something we can change, ignore or otherwise forget.  It will happen.  The only thing slowing the process is our own perceptions, our own selves.  If we can let go of our fears and remember that adaptability relies on our own acceptance of inevitable, then maybe things aren’t as bad as we think they are.

Life and the aspects of it, the uncontrollable parts and the ones we can affect, are what drives us through the infinite possibilities that lay ahead…enjoy it.

Happy Holidays!

My Projection

I’ll start off with a thought: I am not me, I am merely a projection.

Recently I traveled to St. Louis for a funeral, a woman that was very dear to me.  As I sat there in the church, I found myself observing as well as getting lost in a thought that carried with me - Here I am, but I’m not.

I am made of the same things that the universe is made from.  I am who I am and yet when the time comes, I am no longer tethered to the physical…I have become everything.  Now, the thought that I am not me but merely a projection is stating that even though I am not here physically, I am still here.  I’m sure we’ve all heard the idea that we are projections of our surroundings, and although I find that to be true I do not figure that idea to be complete.  If we are indeed made of the same things as the universe then it would safe to assume that we are not just a projection of our surroundings, but a projection of everything.

How does this apply to my trip?  Well, let me explain.  As we move within the world, we often create shades of ourselves.  Think back to school when your teacher would write something on a clear film and put it onto the projector.  Who we are, at the core, is much like the clear film.  What we essentially do is project our definition of who we are, we create the picture of a person that we so choose to be.  When I walk out into the world I am flipping on the switch showing all others my projection of myself.

At the end, it is those projections that people remember but what isn’t said is that what allows us to carry on the legacy of a person is that each person is given a copy of each film.  Each drawing is unique and each one creates an entirely different person even though the similarities are present.  What’s more interesting is that we are happy that each film is unique because we’d like for each person to project us in the different light.  We mustn’t forget that we merely leave a film and that each person we impact are the projectors.  They are the ones that share our memories and the ones who carry on our story, so it would be wise to do right by those in our lives, known or not.  Love without regard and fear only that you may not be able to reach everyone you’d like to.  Listen.  Pay attention.  Above all else, know that amazing is every day and sharing that feeling can make one.  We may not be able to speak now but we’ll talk later.

To those who know me and those who’ve yet to, I am always available to talk so feel free to contact me.  Until the next post =)

The Mourning Sun

I woke up this morning still tired and beaten from the days that just passed me by, the rain clouds have scattered and now the sunlight is peeking through.  This is the Mourning Sun.  A play on words?  Definitely.  The morning sun is the one that feels brighter than the rest, almost blinding.  The morning sun is the one that makes us confused about the time after the rainstorm.  It’s warm and friendly, it reminds us how beautiful life is because even in the dirtiest of places…the sky is clear.  That, is the Mourning Sun.  Let me explain:

As a play on words, the same sorts of things happen to us following a metaphorical rainstorm.  For awhile, its dark and windy, rain patters on the windows of our soul.  At one point we had them open, we were free and care free.  We never expect the rain, we never expect the clouds and we never expect the darkness.  It’s like a cauldron of sadness, devastating to the relatively usual sunny disposition we may normally carry.

I, on the other hand, have always found the rain to be rather cleansing.  You’ll usually find me, at some point, just standing there in the rain letting myself get soaked.  It matters not that my clothes are wet, that’s an easy fix.  It matters not that I am cold and uncomfortable, I welcome a hot shower.  All that matters is that in that moment, I am care free and have let go of that which has consumed me in the days prior.  Then suddenly, a blinding light and radiant warms me.  I can barely open my eyes because the light feels so sharp and sudden, almost as if the sun was being reborn and a new world will unfold as my eyes widen.  This is the Mourning Sun.

It is so bright that it’s hard to keep your eyes open, it’s warmth is minimal but it’s there and we feel it.  The skies are clear and the clouds may be lingering but they no longer skew my vision of the stars.  I recall, nay, never forget the loss of this warmth before the storm and yet am still moved at how much clearer the sky is.  How brisk the air is, as if it knows that for the time being it is free to move about as it wishes.  For those of you who are awake during sunrise, you know the feeling.  It’s one that is shown to you with a majesty and beauty unbound by the normal restrictions of our imagination.  It’s powerful and weak, it’s a constant reminder of the little things we forget to cherish and sparks a love of life.  This moment, this time and those that will follow are our wake up call.

If we did not have the rain we would never fully appreciate a sunny day.  All is well even when it’s not, the sun will return and brighter than ever.  The warmth will return and the object that lit our path will have never left for whether we see it or not, we carry that warmth until it returns.

Perceive Greatness, Create Much More

We must defy convention and never have fear of the next step.  Move forward even when knocked back, be not afraid of the path we’ve chosen but the consequences of not seeing it out.

Change will never be sudden regardless of how open minded we feel we are, it is worked towards until the goal of progression and innovation is almost in reach.  Upon the completion of said goal, there should come a realization that even this accomplishment will not satisfy me, it will only feel like I’ve begun to starve the dying flame within me.  The only way to feed the flame is to continue to explore my curiosity further, there are always questions…find solutions.

I am impertinent.  I am resistant.  I am NOT careful.  I dare to be myself knowing that I am drawn to others who dare to do the same.  I will explore all possibilities for I know that a missed opportunity isn’t gone, someone else will grab it.  I am powerful.  I am weak.  I am continuously moving and so I know that no solution is permanent, it is temporary…that’s the nature of evolution.

Without knowing myself, what I’m truly capable of, I never would have seen that what defines me is never what I’ve done but what I have yet to do.  Be confident in your dreams and if at all possible, find the support to live it.

Even though the theme of today is homogeneous, it does not mean you have to agree, it is separation that will allow us to move past what we don’t believe to what will inevitably happen.

“What does this mean to you?” statement:  I know that together oil and water don’t mix but if added to other things, it makes a wonderful sauce.

I would like to say that perfection is possible, you are the only person who has to believe it is.  It is only natural to question new things, what we should not do is dismiss it.  Hardly ever is anyone truly ready to move out of their comfort zone but it is an undeniable fact that at times we must in order to find what we’ve been searching for.  Change is scary but what if’s last far longer.