So now that our houses have been built, the foundation has been laid for a future unknown and we finally have a place where we can rest our heads care-free. It’s now time to decide on how the inside of our house will be designed. I will spend many years choosing the right color for each room, just as much time attempting to fit the perfect furniture to match the drapes and shades covering the windows. I will arrange, rearrange and do it all over again numerous times for I will never be truly settled. I will have the desire to rebuild but the moment I take a step back to look at my house I realize how much I love the location and that this is my house, it is all mine. I have walked through my house many times just looking around and although I know what is there, there are moments where I feel as though I don’t know where I am. I know the familiar feeling that has become of this place of safety, but I’ve changed it so many times that I have become lost in my own home.
Deflection occurs as reflection subsides to a confusion once known that brings tears to my eyes.
I stop for a moment, unsure about why I chose that color to describe what has become my insides.
It all made sense when I stared at the pamphlet in the store named Intelligent Interior Designs.
For now I know the name of the store meant the choices I was given require no thought, just my gut feelings.
I took the time to recognize that it’s okay to feel lost when we are amidst the remodeling of ourselves. We are constantly changing, tweaking or fixing because as life moves, so do we. At times it seems a bit overwhelming and a decision that we made just a few moments ago could haunt you for much longer, but it will be the resilience of our heart and mind that will prove to be the victor. There will always be choices and as each choice warrants an action, do not be afraid to understand and acknowledge that although the reaction we are hoping to get might not happen, it is not a failure. Regret is the evil twin of Desire and we often become confused because they look so very similar but give off different attitudes. We must learn to accept Desire’s flaws, as well as the qualities, and the next time we stop to smell the roses, we will leave Regret at the bench wishing it still had Desire.