A Memory of What Never Was

It’s raining outside and I sit here staring out the window.  My breathing is heavy which is ultimately fogging up the window, naturally I begin to draw a face of an unknown.  I am unsure of why I start to draw this face but the more I stare at this foggy figure, I feel as though I know it.  My heavy breathing slows down, becoming physically weighted as if the slower I breathe the heavier I feel.  Confused, I stare at the figure now disappearing on this window pane realizing — this is my window to pain.

Who is this figure?

Why do I know this person?

It is my past.  A memory of what never was.

In our lives, we tend to mask pains that we are dealing with.  We search for distractions and reasons to look away, we are weighed down by the fact that we are going to feel weighed down by our sadness.  We are haunted by memories of what was which is constantly reminding us of what won’t be.  The once positive outlook we had is now a look out for things that are surely going to become.  We are told that things will be okay, that things will become easier and that soon we’ll forget our sadness and yet it’s not how we feel.  It feels never ending.

The search for inner peace and contentment is never an easy road to travel but we must always remember to never let the inevitable weigh us down.  That’s why it’s inevitable.  The largest burden we carry is one that we impose on ourselves, not given to us by others.  Do not lose focus on the task at hand which is to be able to not let go, but to move forward.  Moving forward has never required letting go, it is our ability to see that what never was does not mean it could not be.  Life is filled with possibilities and endless opportunities, seize the day — never cease the day for it will not cease for you.

Use the memory of what never was to create a future of could be and will.


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