I can recall the very moment that my destiny had changed. I had analyzed and decided that it would be best to play it safe, to not step forward and do exactly what was necessary. I made a promise to you, to share a piece of myself that was hidden away in the abyss that is my Endless Discovery. As you drove away, I kept repeating what seemed to almost be a mantra:
“Glossy brown eyes captured my imagination one fateful night. An accident indeed, the introduction was anything but formal yet a perfect beginning to the rest of my life. At the time, it was not my place but the place was where I was supposed to be standing next to you under a clear night sky promising to share a happiness I reserved only for myself. If only….If only.”
What had I done? Why, even though it was the right thing to do, did I ever let you leave my arms? Even after all this time, these questions still burn in my mind as if to guide me like a candle in the window. As the night ended and I made my way back, it had dawned on me that maybe I should turn around but I couldn’t. The time was not right, or was it? Was this accident a moment of weakness, had I done the exact opposite of what brought us together? To this day I am unsure, but I do know that it is a mistake I have never made again. It is a mistake that I will not make again.
Due to a few recent changes and many drastic moves, I find myself yet again wondering. Wondering about the dreams I’ve continued to have, even after my departure. Dreams that I’ve had ever since the night we walked around the block 100 times. A dream that always seems to surface when I contemplate my direction. I never would have thought that my dream would be a reality, a reality I mistakenly moved away from. Time has passed and so has that moment, but these memories are much like my heart…stuck in time and refusing to move. It is not often that we are blessed with moments or situations in which we find that the clock has stopped ticking, so I opened my book to the exact page I looked into your eyes only to find it blank. To this day, I’m still speechless.
These are the lost words of an endless discovery found only to clarify the misconception that although time continues to move forward, not everything has. We are capable of greatness, we just have to be willing to take a chance.