“I was broken when I was born, it’s the reason why I was crying when I first entered this world. Remember this fact for it is important when you get to understand who I am.”
Starting from scratch with nothing more than a solid foundation and random materials, I was told that it was Me and only Me that could complete what I call home. At a young age, I learned that it wasn’t going to be easy. That sometimes I’d have help with the heavy lifting, but for the most part the finished dwelling would be completed by myself. As day turned to night and weeks turned to years, I slowly began to see the picture becoming clearer of what I wanted my House to be. A foundation turned into a skeleton, the framework that I had to set in order to rise above the ground of where I’d started all that time ago. I had no idea what I was trying to build, but for the first time I could see where I wanted to go with it. The walls finally started to take shape and I was able to cap my hard work with a solid roof to enclose the safety that this place will always provide.
No longer was I laying a foundation or erecting what was to become the walls of my home, I had finally created a place that I could feel safe. Excited and nearly overwhelmed by this feeling, one I’d never truly experienced prior, I stepped through the door to find it empty and in an instant I no longer felt safe. How could I call this home when I haven’t filled it up? So I decided to take a trip and on each adventure I’d bring back a piece of memorabilia to fill my house. Every time I went away, I brought something new back and for quite awhile it was enough. As time continued on, the souvenirs became bigger and in no time my Home was becoming a Home with not just comfortable furniture, but with pictures and doodad’s as well.
After many trips and adventures, I was finally able to feel safe in my Home. I sat down on the couch, looked around at all that I had attained and felt pleased. Correction, I felt content. As I sat there, I began to realize that I had missed all of the adventures. That I had missed the new trinkets and souvenirs. So I got up and moved into a room where the sun was shining the brightest. It was the room where I stored all of my best items, the ones that always made me smile. It was the room within my Home that had the biggest window and a single chair facing it. After browsing my collection, I sat down in that lonely chair and stared out the window. As I did, I saw a crack stretching from one corner to another. Looking at the crack, I ignored the beautiful view of the ocean that lay just beyond the glass. All I saw was the crack and not the impending Storm behind my window. The room seemed to darken around me, as if the shadows were swallowing up my room.
The darkness began to close in and I felt as though I couldn’t breathe. What was going on and why did that ocean, which I had looked at with a smile every day prior, seem deep and mysterious? Why was my room becoming dark and where did this crack come from? As I sat there dwelling in the darkness a flash of light blinded me. I stood up in shock and looked around the room…a Rainbow? How? I started to close my eyes and as I did it seemed as though the Rainbow had started to light up the room. Somehow, the little bit of sunlight left had managed to reflect off of the crack to create this beautiful display of light and colors. I looked around the room and was once again able to navigate within the room that brought me so much warmth. I looked at the window and was reminded that even the smallest amount of light can light up a room and as long as I remember that, I will always be able to smile.
I am broken, always have been. Even during a struggle, I remember that all it takes is just one piece of warmth to light up the memories that make me smile and keep me happy. I have this all stored away in my heart and mind so that in case I forget about the crack, I will always be able to rise above it all. I am but a mere reflection of my surroundings, but angled just right and with a little bit of light I can shine like no other. These are the colors of me and I shall use them to paint my Home for home is where the Heart is and always will be. I still do not know how my House will end up or what it will look like when it’s finished, but it won’t matter because I’m safe here.