As I continue on the topic of depression, I will talk about the overall feeling of “out of control”. If you’ve ever owned a spirograph or seen a coin spiraling down one of those donation tubs then you know what I’m talking about and two cheers because that’s awesome. For those of you who can’t imagine it, here are some designs that are created from a spirograph (Spirograph Art). The idea behind the topic is how one may feel during a time of “dumpy” feelings and how to regain your balance.
Often it feels like I can’t seem to keep my feet beneath me. The feeling is dizzying, it’s nauseating, it feels endless and damned if it’s not draining. I feel like the coin, spinning around in what seems as though is a never ending circle but there’s the key. If you looked at the designs you will notice that all of them have one thing in common, it has a center. Imagine a piece of string and at the bottom is a weight. The string is a representation of the connections we share with the world, it is what allows us to stay suspended above the rock bottom. The weight is me, it is you, it is us. Now let’s assume that some sort of outside force has picked us up and pushed us in some random direction, what happens? We spin about at a dizzying pace, the harder the force of the push the faster we spin. Now, give that a little bit of time and a natural force of resistance, our ability of self recognition. We have the wonderful ability to be aware of ourselves even though we forget that from time to time, this ability is our way of being our own observer. This resistance will eventually slow us down and even though for a period of time we’re still spinning, we eventually stop. We center.
We are always dangling above the bottom and usually it tends to feel as though at any moment the string will break and we’ll drop. Wrong. I believe the most amazing thing in life is that we are actually floating. It’s like space, all we need is a push to get us going, to get us out of orbit so that we may explore the beautiful and expansive possibilities in this life.
Another great example is a tetherball. Think of your life as a game of tetherball. By itself, the ball lay there motionless. Centered, dangling and losing air slowly. Give it a solid knock in any direction and suddenly it becomes a challenge. We mustn’t let our opponent knock the ball the other way and if they do, I’m going to hit it twice as hard back. In order to win the game, the ball must completely wrap around the pole and hit. Funny right? But note: the ball is centered once again but instead of dangling, it’s being suspended. Held up by being wound up. It’s energy, kinetic. In that moment, it’s full of possibility and hope. In that moment is a win. I am that tetherball, we all are.
We can get a push from anyone, we get hit and keep on going. We wind up, we tighten and it feels overwhelming but we do not snap. We win, we hit the pole and if we use all of that energy for a positive purpose then we are finally able to slowly unwind so that we can wait for the next push. We are the pencil or marker in the spirograph, at times it may seem as though we are just wandering aimlessly but in the end we have a defined center in the middle of art. Who would have thought randomness would create such beauty. Each line balanced (refer to part 1), each line seamlessly moving around and always returning to the center.
Now, what is this center I speak of? It’s what happens when you unwind, unravel and find peace. It’s the place you go to get away from the world and to clear your mind. It’s your friends, family or a carton of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Center is the eye of the storm, it’s contentment. Center is what you’re probably beginning to feel. Center is You. It’s the part of you that nobody can ever take away. Don’t feel like you have a center? Think about it long and hard, what is it that you love the most when things are rough? What is it that comforts you the most, that makes you smile even when you feel like you’re spinning? If you focus on finding your center, eventually you will.
Sometimes you need to spin in order to find the center. Sometimes you need to feel disoriented for you to recognize clarity. As long as we pay attention to ourselves, our true selves, we will always be able to unwind. Don’t just stop to smell the roses, appreciate the entire garden and it’s beauty.
Sometime soon I’ll conclude this series of writings and as always I recommend sharing these writings and would love to have responses, if you’re not comfortable commenting publicly feel free to email me. Stay positive, pay attention and know that there is brightness in every dark situation.