This Road

This road I’m traveling down at first glance looks familiar, a beaten path already created, yet nothing feels as I remember. Have I been down this road before? I have no idea but I’ll be careful all the same.  Maybe I should keep my guard up, but damned if it doesn’t come right back down.  I’m curious what’s around the next corner, maybe today is the day that my feeling is justified and it ends up being the path I’ve been down more than a handful of times.

My mind is telling me to be careful, this is why the wall was created, but my heart is telling me it’s legit, that the path is why I’ve waited.  Every time I slow for the corner, I see that it’s soft and unusually comfortable, and with every upcoming turn a bit of me speeds up.  It feels like this road has a million turns, but when I step back and observe, I see that I’m just distracted during the straights.

Oh, the break I’ve been needing, a rest stop in the distance.  I pull over to catch my breath but the moment becomes overwhelming.  I’ve enjoyed this drive and have made it further than I ever imagined I’d go, but this is the point of no return, do I turn back now or keep going to see where it all leads? This is the conundrum.  I’ve feared this moment, not because I am afraid of the outcome, but because I know the rest of the way will take all of Me.  How can it be that I’ve made it this far but it feels like I’ve barely started. This trip was not the journey I’ve come to expect, it’s more, it’s fun, it’s real.

As I sit in the car staring in the mirror first and then the road ahead, I ponder all of the possibilities and how I usually flip for it.  I have gotten used to this life, where the road had a single direction, which way do I go? Only one way, that’s simple. Yet for the first time in a long time, I’ve got a decision to make. Do I keep going forward to see where it leads or return to where I was before. The decision seems clear but I’m wary it feels too easy, how can it feel so good to move forward?

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and open them.  I put on my seatbelt, turn on the car, put it in drive but my foot is still on the brake.  I take a look forward and see endless beauty, like nothing I’ve seen before, so I look in the mirror and realize that it was easy to get where I’m at because it was right from the start. I’ve spent enough time trying to rationalize and see things I have not, I was even more cautious for this trip because it seemed familiar but I knew it was not.  I cannot tell you where this road is going or where it will end up, but I assure you if you take your foot off the brake, you will never have to turn back.


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