Nothingness, My Everything

There is a saying that the best things in life are free.  I no longer believe that, but it’s a good things. Let me explain.

I am incredibly lucky, there’s no other way to put it.  I have been gifted the opportunity to have found the map to a treasure I continue to purposely lose, twice.  In each instance, there was a cost. An important idea to keep in mind is that money is in fact nothing more than an idea.  An attached value to something that has no true monetary value, but that is in fact a physical representation of said idea of worth. Within that idea, the best things in life are not free, in fact they cost the most.  They cost compromise and sacrifice.  They cost sleep, time and energy. Yet it’s all worth it so we absorb the cost chalking it up the price of happiness.

I can never explain in complete detail what being understood means.  I can never convey, even if there were no mental shackles, what surviving the bombardment designed to protect would fully translate to, there was never enough space time.  What I can say is that it all meant nothing.  In the universe, there appears to be an infinite amount of stars, but we know it’s vast, it takes billions of years to get to an edge that is expanding faster than the speed of light, and so we feel insignificant as a result.  Yet when we take a closer look, we see that what we do not see, the apparent nothingness, is the strongest unexplained phenomenon in our known universe.  It holds our universe together, it’s called Dark Matter.

And it is in this dark that everything matters.  It is where the support resides that carries the space between.  It is where we go to feel free, to live without gravity.  It is where I hide my last piece, the largest of them all.

Now, the heart of the matter.

Never in my wildest dreams did I figure that nothing could be so much. I find myself on the cusp of finding a place within myself that I felt I had lost years ago, as time passed I thought I’d lost it for good.  What was it? It was the real unexplainable. It was, I was, our tree. I had an idea, but continued to hope.  I was afraid but was ready to face the consequence of my inaction, until I realized that my lack of movement allowed for the greatest leap.  I believe that Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge” because he knew that if we became a slave to rules and laws, that the true source of inspiration and fundamental science would break and the very core of meaningful discovery would no longer exist.  In this, I am not only inspired, I rediscovered and what I found was this piece of advice:

I don’t believe there’s only ONE person for any given individual, but I do believe we’re only compatible at a deep level with a very few individuals—and finding those few people requires being in the right place, in the right time.

Could she have found someone else? Yes.

Could I? Yes.

Would either of us be as happy as we are now? Probably not.

I used to believe I was cursed with right person, wrong time.  I now realize that it was always the right time, I just had to be willing to  face the music if it didn’t work out.  In this occasion, the music showed me it was the right time, just standing a couple of inches left.  I was smack in the middle of nothingness, and that means everything.


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