I have learned to find solace in the unknown and this is a feeling very foreign to me until recently. For years, I have never feared the unknown and as much as I contemplate about it’s existence, there was never an acceptance of it. Much like my definition of ‘unknown’, acceptance has changed as well. I continue to thrive from the belief that moving on and forward are separated entities, but both concepts are only one part of a greater picture and are inherently tied to one another. Yes, it’s very possible to disconnect with ease. Yes, it’s certainly plausible that you may not have to like it, but should accept it. No, it is not the only way.
One of the leaps I’ve made in direction have come by how I view the world. While I remain an optimist, I am only so because of the rather obscure way I view it. I am an optimist because I accept finality. I fear not the end, but the moment immediately following where most will find regret instead of pure joy from what had been experienced. For most people, things must be black and white, and while it’s a very simplistic way to view things, many people abide by this view and so choices are given with said color spectrum. I began to question, “If things are black and white, why are we blinded by “The End” of something?” The answer I came up with: Because the colors of life are far brighter than the bar code of the product we have become.
So my perspective is obscure, what do I mean? I have been told that due to my circumstances growing up, that I have an innate desire to do everything I can until every option is exhausted, and it’s definitely a brutally honest assessment. While very true, I do it with an idea that this may be the last chance to try. The last chance to experience. The last chance to live forever. It probably sounds morbid, but I assure you, I use it as a frame of reference. When I was 8 years old, I was afraid to die. I wasn’t afraid of the actual death, I was afraid of not existing. I even had nightmares about it. What came out of this though was an appreciation for the unknown, and now I find beauty in it because only in the unknown is anything possible. We start in the black and head towards the white, but what happens in between is what gives color to life, and that is our blinding reality. The Beautiful Unknown.