We are all always rebuilding, constantly evolving and shifting around the pieces of ourselves in search for the Ultimate Me. What I believe we struggle with the most aren’t the parts we’ve buried so deep that the light rarely finds it, they are the parts that we’ve acclimated into our daily routine as a part of a grand defense mechanism. These natural defenses are a result of the pain, hurt and prior struggles that have helped to shape the river of life we believe we are riding on, but I do not feel this to be the complete mirage we’ve come to accept. So I bring to the surface a word that we use often but rarely exercise when it comes to taking care of our selves.
Due to prior stints of battling my own demons to the point of breaking, I have slowly began to incorporate my own miniature versions of disconnection. To clarify, I do not believe that disconnection is associated with cutting off and that they are completely separate ideas that can be explored at a later date. I believe that disconnection is much like unplugging the cord from the socket, the light is not broken and the power is still flowing, they are working separately for the time being. Life moves at a very rapid pace and this will and does become overwhelming to even the strongest of souls and while we tell ourselves that it’s alright, very little proof often shows itself to solidify this feeling. I am here to say, it’s definitely okay to feel overwhelmed. For me, it happens much more often than I’d like to admit to, but I’m working on it.
In a previous post some time ago, I wrote about the importance of finding a place of solitude. As time has passed, the importance of this has become clearer to me as I began to see that I was placing an increasingly high emphasis on Living Selfishly, Selflessly. The reason for this clarity’s specific purpose in this instance was that I started to see that I was living in the manner I desired, but I was not placing enough focus on living both Selfishly and Selflessly, which created a chasm of emptiness because this ideal requires the unity and cooperation of both ideas simultaneously. In order to slow down the racing thoughts and bombardment of constant self-doubt and the eventual loathing of feeling down, like Superman, I had to find a Cave of Solitude. Sort of like a Mind Palace, that we use to store memories for easier access later, this cave can exist anywhere that life can slow down. It could be on a beach, in the woods or in the embrace of another, but regardless of where you find the cave, it will be the pin that can start the process of disconnection.
The cave, however, is not a place to hide from the world. It is not a place to reside and is certainly not the top of the mountain where we often find ourselves, out of breath and in need of oxygen. It is at the bottom, overlooking the beaches where our mind plays freely, and not in the shadow of the mountains of burden we carry. It is a reminder to slow down and disconnect every once in a while. To revel in the victory of conquering the last mountain, to stand in awe of the new one and to dream of the day that we will once again be standing at the base of our worries, stronger and more confident in our greatness. We are not riding the river of our lives, we are the water that creates IS the river. We have the power to shape our landscape, find ways around obstructions, and am constantly on our way to something much larger than we could imagine. Water does not conform, it adjusts. It is malleable, unique and powerful. And so are you…