Why Opposites Attract

First, the standard question: Are we attracted to those that represent the subconscious of our selves that we wish to change, effectively and literally facing our fears?

Second, the standard answer: No, we are attracted to those that we have the most chemistry with. Pheromones and all that jazz.

Third, the verified observation: The relationships that tend to last are those that embrace every aspect of our self and is also accepted by our partner.

Maybe, just maybe, we aren’t truly trying to change the other person but simply trying to change a part of our subconscious self.  Addressing the inner concerns, insecurities and conscious issues we have with our self, we seek out and engage in a person that represents the traits we wish to address within us. While on the surface, it may appear that we are trying to change the other person, we may in fact just be addressing traits within our selves, but doing so in a manner where we are not responsible because the flaw resides in another — it is not our problem, it is theirs — and so we feel less obligated to evolve this set of traits. Furthermore, if we look at relationships that last, we can see a common thread: these couples support each other on the aspects they still feel weak in. While this is a general statement, as it’s of course not always true, it remains that these successful couples are successful because they accept, and even love, these perceived flaws.

As we strive to evolve, to accept every aspect of our self, to address traits we believe to be a flaw, we should be aware of how much is projected into our lives. If signs are to be believed, then they are gut feelings, so think of it in this way: When we’re driving down the road, we may have a gut feeling we are headed in the wrong direction, it isn’t until we pass a physical sign that validates our gut feeling. With people, we have gut feelings that something may be amiss with our self, but it isn’t until we see it represented outside of ourselves that we are able to validate our disgust and desire to change it. Because most of us aren’t usually introspective, having these extrospective representations of our inner self gives us the opportunity to address issues without it being “our fault”. It should be noted that the other important factor that pulls us to anybody is chemistry, and having that is incredibly important in terms of staying together, but what is being addressed here is an aspect of a relationship/attraction that can possibly disappear (or grow in a different direction). Successful relationships work because the individuals involved are willing to work together, to address and support each other so that each person can be elevated to a “better” self. Some flaws do not need to be changed or altered, they simply need to be supported in the right way, a way that we cannot do by ourselves.

This is absolutely scientifically proven, accepted by every psychologist except for all of them. The editor of this piece agrees that it's an opinion and rightfully refused to acknowledge the validity. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s