Breaking Fox News: Rick Perry, defender of our patriotic duty to give retractual statements, calls the shooting in Charleston, SC “an accident”. States when he becomes POTUS that all traffic accidents will be recorded as gun violence.
*UPDATE: We here at Breaking Fox News apologize for the perceived language error. In an effort to make things up, as our beloved news outlet over at Fox News does, we made a new word. The definition for retractual:
1) re-track-shoo-el: an actual statement that will immediately be retracted due to a mental processing error that causes words to be spoken directly from the anus.
See also: Bullshit